How I became “Laminator Man” (Read if experiencing insomnia)

So some of you may be wondering how I became Laminator Man a.k.a. Captain Lamination.  For the one or two who might care it goes something like this. 

There once was a person who decided to follow Jesus at a relatively young age.  Unfortunately as a teenager he let himself be drawn  into what had all the appearance of a “fun” life versus what he thought would be a not as fun life.  What he found out, like countless people before him, is that what appears to be fun in the dark isn’t so fondly remembered as fun the next morning.  Thankfully the First Cause has a track record of not giving up on people who take the bait and pursue their own pleasure (which frequently comes at the expense of others) as the sole goal of their life.  

During college, the First Cause used someone to assist me in my thinking about life and it’s origin and purpose, see other post about God and Science.   

After college, I married my college sweetheart (yes, Joan) and we started attending church regularly.  Over the next 20 or so years there were three children, law school, three job transfers, and several church related positions, Sunday school teacher, deacon, elder, small group leader, parking lot co-ordinator (Yes that’s a thing). 

As you may have already read,  God challenged me that I was kinda cruising and that I was leaving a lot on the table.  Accordingly, a new plan was hatched, I would go to seminary, retire as soon as possible from the DoD and get a job as a pastor.   Within 10 years I would be the leader of a very large church.  

So a funny thing happened on the way to evangelical superstardom (Yes that’s a thing)…I did retire as soon as I could and excitedly started my ministry career as a volunteer pastor at the church where I interned and where I was ordained (think sworn in).  So the first thing that happened was the Lead Teaching Pastor accepted a new position at a different church.  OK, no worries, I would sub in for the person who took on the lead role.  This involved teaching the children, (kinder through fifth) as well as serving as the administrative pastor (yes that’s a thing).  Surely, I would get opportunities to speak and my career would take off.  

OK so I have to back track a little so the whole story makes sense, think flashback scene.  Close to when I hatched the master plan for superstardom, there were some personnel changes at my wife’s job (She is a Media Specialist at an elementary school).  Short version is two folks moved on and were not replaced.  Being the wonderful husband that I am (DO NOT FACT CHECK this with my wife) I decided that I would lend my awesomeness to her.  I would do the job that two trained people were doing full time but I would do it in two hours in the morning and 1 hour in the afternoon, how hard could it be, right?  So I started slow, put some books on the shelves, moved some copy paper, awesome right?  Not even close, but before I get too far ahead of myself, back to the other thing, the road to evangelical superstardom.  

Short version is that the person who took over as the Lead  Pastor didn’t exactly agree that the 56 year old neophyte pastor had a lot to offer, also there was some mistrust as to what my motives were (You might ask what? Does that really happen on church staffs? Sadly, that’s a thing).  Also, for those who don’t know,  what happens frequently when there’s a change in leadership in a church?  That’s right a lot of folks aren’t exactly sure about the new guy.  Over the next ten months this dynamic was in play.  Guess the road to Evangelical Superstardom would be a little trickier than I had planned.

Over those 10 months I continued at helping out at my wife’s school.  I learned more skills, it was during this time I was first introduced to the laminator.  For anyone who may not know, a laminator covers paper/card stock items with a thing coat of plastic.  This coating increases the durability of the items, many many things that elementary school teachers need require lamination.  So the laminator machine is located in the same room with the copiers, the Snack Shack, and the Keurig.   So a really awesome thing happened for me. I was able to meet a bunch of really great people.  The fact that I was a volunteer allowed me the freedom to have the time to really get to know people.  People were very appreciative of the little things that I was able to help them with.  They even made shirts for me identifying me as King of Lamination, Laminator Man, they made cards for my birthday.  People seemed more real, more genuine, less pretensive.  I felt needed and appreciated which was the opposite of how I was feeling about my “job” at church.  Eventually, it became clear to me that I was needed more at my wife’s school than at church so I resigned my position with the church.  Soon after, that church, faced with declining membership decided to merge with another church.   Guess the road to ES was definitely in detour mode for the time being.  

Over the next four years I have continued at my wife’s school, I learned more skills, made even better friends, learned how to interact with the students.  I eventually became impressed that God was letting me know that this was the group of people he wanted me serve.  People who from time to time may need someone to listen to them, to care about what is going on in their lives. A group of people who maybe might let me assist them in any search for meaning and purpose.   And that is how I became Laminator Man, a title I am happy to have.  

As for the road to ES, that is clearly out of my hands, I just want to know my creator, to learn how to love Him more and to help others do the same.  Given what has happened with so many high profile Christian leaders, maybe God was trying to protect me.  

So after all of this I decided to start a non-profit dedicated to teaching Christian apologetics (yes that’s a thing).  I felt that maybe people would be more comfortable if they could read some things about the First Cause without any pressure to respond, so I decided to launch a website.  If you’re reading this post on-line I am happy because I will have at least one visitor to my website.

The goal of the non-profit and the website is to discuss issues/questions that people may have regarding the existence of a First Cause a.k.a. God and the reasons why we should listen to the person of Jesus.

Thanks for taking the time to read this, as always, if you have questions/comments please send me an email at lifeboat11min@gmail.com, all inquiries are considered confidential.